Women often have a picture-perfect image of how they think marriage is supposed to be. Often, it is the portrait of the knight in shining armor coming to rescue them and carry them away to his castle where they will live happily ever after. Many of us have bought into marriage myths only to be sorely disappointed when things do not go exactly as we planned. Despite the fantasy image portrayed in Hollywood and on television, married couples quickly learn that marriage is rewarding, yet hard work. It must be developed daily and given a lot of attention in order to be successful. One principle that is vital to marital success is mutual respect between spouses.
When you respect someone, you care about what they think; what matters to them matters to you. A lot of couples allow selfishness to dictate their attitudes and responses toward each other, but when you truly respect your husband or wife, you will make an effort to do what makes them feel loved, valued, and highly esteemed. This is what respect is all about.
For women, the idea of respecting our husbands to the point of being willing to acquiesce our personal agendas for the sake of the marriage can be difficult to accept. This is primarily due to societal norms and values that promote the idea of the independent, liberated woman who does not need a man. However, successful unions depend largely on being willing to compromise and make adjustments to meet the needs of the other person. What we give is what we get, and there will always come a time when our husbands will be in a position to do the same thing for us.
An important thing to remember is that respect is a two-way street. Both people must be willing to honor each other through loving words and actions. When a husband and wife both cater to each other’s personal needs, things flow smoothly.
As a wife, honoring and respecting my husband is high on my priority list. This means being mindful of how I speak to him, making sure we are in agreement about things, and discussing the issues of our household with him before taking action on my own. It means valuing his input and not ignoring what he has to say just because I do not necessarily agree with it. Honoring and respecting him entails giving him the right to speak into my life and listening to what he says with an open heart. When we treat our husbands this way, we position ourselves for success.
Creflo and I have been married for over twenty years, and throughout the duration of our marriage I have learned the importance of respect and what it means to a man. Does this mean Creflo rules over me with an iron fist? No! It simply means I understand the role respect plays in our marriage and I make sure I do not allow this area to slip.
When Creflo and I first met, there was a need for change and growth on both our parts. I grew up exposed to what may be called “forward thinking”—a school of thought that promotes women’s liberation, independent of a man. I used to cringe at the thought of listening to what any man had to say, thinking it meant being inferior to my male counterparts. However, after maturing emotionally and spiritually, I realized that was not the case at all. But it took time and patience before I arrived at that conclusion.
As a wife, I honor and respect God first. Sometimes we find it difficult to respect our husbands because we feel they may make bad decisions if we do not get involved with the process. But we must trust God, knowing that our husbands are in His hands. If they are about to make a bad decision, we must believe God will intervene in the situation as we pray and stay focused on Him.
As wives, we are required to respect our husbands. In doing so, we demonstrate our trust in God, knowing He will take care of us in every situation. Give what you desire and you will always get it back!
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