If you are a mother who has a child in his or her teenage years, you can probably attest to the fact that parenting is not an easy task! As our children grow up, it requires patience, adjustments on the part of the parent and the child, along with the recognition of which season your relationship with your child is in. The reality of being a parent is that our “little” ones do not stay little forever. We must find ways to adjust and adapt to the seasons of development they go through as they journey on the road to adulthood.

There is no doubt about it; as the seasons in our children’s lives change, we must also flow with those changes. We may discover the techniques we once used to maintain the “upper hand” in their lives when they were younger do not work as they grow up. Threatening spankings and groundings will not work when you are facing a young-adult child who is college bound or already out of the house. It is difficult to imagine your baby out on their own, making decisions without you, and possibly experiencing things in the world from which you want so desperately to shield them. However, their transition from childhood to a young adulthood is inevitable, and we must learn how to adapt while maintaining our position as parents.

I speak from personal experience when I tell you I know it is not easy. With three daughters, one of college age, I know how hard it can be to change the way we relate to our kids. When Jordan went to college, I found myself still trying to maintain the same level of control in her life that I had when she was a young child. I quickly realized I could not control her every move and decision. I had to begin releasing the tight hold I had on her.

Allowing your kids to make choices rather than telling them what they can and cannot do all the time will help them develop their decision-making skills and learn from their mistakes. I have come to realize I cannot shield my kids from everything. Ultimately, I must trust and believe they have been trained and taught well, and the spiritual foundation my husband and I have equipped them with will sustain them in life’s pressure situations.

I remember when Jordan first left for college. I was panicking at the thought of my baby no longer living under my roof, and that she would now be free to make decisions without me! I had concerns about the choices she would make when faced with various situations. I found myself text messaging her frequently to remind her of what she should and should not do. It got to the point where she had to say, “Mom, you are going to have to trust what you have taught me will carry me through.” What a sobering wake-up call! I realized that day that part of the adjustment I had to make in this season was to trust God enough to give my child some breathing room and the opportunity to learn on her own.

It has not been easy, but as a result of me gradually releasing my daughter, she has been able to grow and spread her wings. Not only that, but the process has strengthened my faith and trust in God as I have watched her discover the importance of making the right choices in life.

Take some time to identify and evaluate the season you and your child are in, and ask God how to help you make the necessary adjustments so it can be a smooth transition for both of you. God will guide, direct, and show you what you can do to loosen the reins a little bit and still command their respect and love!

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